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Sep. 28th, 2004 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kittenscribbleI'm figuring that this is what happened during the moment of my creation. Warning: somewhat irreverent. And long-winded.
In my vision, God is thoughtful, stroking his beard and staring into the middle distance. His words are spoken with surety, but also with careful consideration. Off to one side, His recording angel is busily taking dictation, inscribing the words as God speaks them. (I do not know the name of the recording angel. I shall refer to him as Bob.)
"...and that will do it for Katherine," God says. "Next, I shall describe the human who will be known as --"
"Excuse me," Bob says timidly, "but there's an extra space left."
God's eyebrows lower slightly. "So there is."
"You've got room for one more trait," Bob says, and poises his quill.
"She shall be lazy in the mornings," God says. "Now, moving on --"
Bob is already shaking his head. "No, you've already got that, it's on line five."
"Well, then she shall enjoy spelling words."
"Line sixteen."
"She shall dislike olives?"
"Sorry, that's on line thirty-seven."
God pauses, and strokes his beard again.
Bob reads over the list again, slowly, the tip of his quill following each line. Then he looks up at God, and clears his throat. "May I be so bold as to make a suggestion?"
"You may," says God.
"She shall," Bob says, "never be able to throw anything away!"
God considers the notion. "That's actually quite good."
Bob straightens proudly. "Inspired, I thought."
"Divinely inspired, of course," God says.
"Well, of course. Thank you," Bob adds belatedly.
"You're welcome. Yes, that will be a good trait. That way, she shall never lose anything important."
"And," Bob says, growing excited, "she will never lack for anything she once owned, or any of her old memories! And when she has to move, she will have boxes full of things! She will have to continually pack and unpack her belongings. She will take forever to move into a new place. It is indeed an inspiring thought."
God's beard moves into the shape of a slight frown. "That last thought is not quite so inspired, Bob."
"Oh." Bob's halo droops. "Not even divinely?"
"No," says God.
--
At any rate. Although my new home is slow in getting all of its amenities straightened out,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
webqatch and dave_lister are wonderful people and are looking out for me. Much thanks also go to my sister, who has been kind enough to stay in my house and wait for handymen while I go to work. And I'm really enjoying my new commute, which is roughly half the duration of the old one. I like being able to get up later in the morning. So things are quite happy all around.
...on the other hand, the cat is not quite used to being fed later in the mornings, but we're working on that.
In my vision, God is thoughtful, stroking his beard and staring into the middle distance. His words are spoken with surety, but also with careful consideration. Off to one side, His recording angel is busily taking dictation, inscribing the words as God speaks them. (I do not know the name of the recording angel. I shall refer to him as Bob.)
"...and that will do it for Katherine," God says. "Next, I shall describe the human who will be known as --"
"Excuse me," Bob says timidly, "but there's an extra space left."
God's eyebrows lower slightly. "So there is."
"You've got room for one more trait," Bob says, and poises his quill.
"She shall be lazy in the mornings," God says. "Now, moving on --"
Bob is already shaking his head. "No, you've already got that, it's on line five."
"Well, then she shall enjoy spelling words."
"Line sixteen."
"She shall dislike olives?"
"Sorry, that's on line thirty-seven."
God pauses, and strokes his beard again.
Bob reads over the list again, slowly, the tip of his quill following each line. Then he looks up at God, and clears his throat. "May I be so bold as to make a suggestion?"
"You may," says God.
"She shall," Bob says, "never be able to throw anything away!"
God considers the notion. "That's actually quite good."
Bob straightens proudly. "Inspired, I thought."
"Divinely inspired, of course," God says.
"Well, of course. Thank you," Bob adds belatedly.
"You're welcome. Yes, that will be a good trait. That way, she shall never lose anything important."
"And," Bob says, growing excited, "she will never lack for anything she once owned, or any of her old memories! And when she has to move, she will have boxes full of things! She will have to continually pack and unpack her belongings. She will take forever to move into a new place. It is indeed an inspiring thought."
God's beard moves into the shape of a slight frown. "That last thought is not quite so inspired, Bob."
"Oh." Bob's halo droops. "Not even divinely?"
"No," says God.
--
At any rate. Although my new home is slow in getting all of its amenities straightened out,
webqatch and dave_lister are wonderful people and are looking out for me. Much thanks also go to my sister, who has been kind enough to stay in my house and wait for handymen while I go to work. And I'm really enjoying my new commute, which is roughly half the duration of the old one. I like being able to get up later in the morning. So things are quite happy all around....on the other hand, the cat is not quite used to being fed later in the mornings, but we're working on that.
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no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-29 05:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-02 08:53 pm (UTC)But, but, but...
Date: 2004-10-04 04:34 am (UTC)And he has been played by Alan Rickman, in "Dogma".
Re: But, but, but...
Date: 2004-10-04 05:00 am (UTC)The Alan Rickman character in Dogma is a trifle stuffy for this particular role, I think. But I suppose that if he were actually speaking directly to God, he would cringe a bit more, so it might work.
I *swear* there is a "packrat gene"
Date: 2004-09-29 06:15 am (UTC)Re: I *swear* there is a "packrat gene"
Date: 2004-10-02 09:16 pm (UTC)